Piling on

OK, there’s bitching and then there’s primo grade-A bitching.

Macworld Already a Bummer, With or Without Apple.

“Worst. Macworld. Ever.” said one attendee after the Tuesday keynote. “This sucks.”

This displays little more than a lack of proper historical perspective. Gil Amelio ring any bells? Please, let’s not review the tape, people. It could get ugly.

It also displays a lack of proper verbiage. More correctly, the attendee should have said “Worst. Macworld. Expo. Keynote. Ever.” as he or she could not have been to the showroom floor yet.

Also, there’s all the drinking. We’re not nearly done with that.

This year’s keynote was an epic yawner.

Personally, while the keynote obviously lacked the big announcements of recent years, the Macalope found the iLife demonstration to be awesome, and the crowd seemed to agree.

No new iPhone.

Please. No serious analyst thought there would be a new iPhone.

No new iPod.

iPod? Nobody at all thought there would be new iPods.

No new iMac, and — despite lots of pre-show hype, rumor and buzz — no new Mac Mini.

Yes. A bunch of people thought there might be a new Mini and maybe a new iMac. But did Apple in any way shape or form lead anyone to believe there would be? No. This kind of sentence construction is designed to make you think that it’s somehow a failure on Apple’s part that they didn’t deliver an iMac or a Mini. It’s not.

You can be disappointed that Apple didn’t announce more (and, don’t be mistaken, the Macalope is) but you’re just being a tool if you’re claiming to be disappointed because Apple didn’t announce specific items “everyone said they were going to announce”.

The keynote also ended with a thinly veiled insult: Tony Bennett singing “I Left My Heart in San Francisco” — surely a goodbye middle finger to International Data Group, which owns Macworld Expo.

Of course it seems to be a middle finger if you’re the kind of person who sees everything through the prism of motives that appeal to your high-school Heathers mentality. The horny one actually thought it was a nice send-off.

Was it a great keynote? Well, no. Phil Schiller actually did a great job delivering it. Has anyone watched CEOs from other companies? They’d be lucky to have their keynotes delivered by Schiller, let alone Jobs. Apple followers are spoiled.

The problem is he just didn’t have that much to announce. But expecting pie-in-sky items like new iPhones and iPods is just jackassery in the third degree.

The Macalope will have some more thoughts on the keynote in his piece for Macworld on Thursday.

ADDENDUM: The Macalope, while not shy about profanity, doesn’t usually point it directly at a silly pundit, but in this case he’s going to make an exception for this:

Topping it off was Tony Bennett, who came onstage and belted out a couple of songs nobody under 60 knows.

Well, a pleasant fuck you to you, Mathew. The Macalope is well below 60 and was utterly thrilled to see a legend like Tony Bennett singing classic songs. Unless you go to Vegas frequently, this was a once-in-a-lifetime chance to see someone whose name will go down in history as one of the greatest performers. And so far everyone the Macalope’s talked to has raved about it.

Don’t be a dick.

47 thoughts on “Piling on”

  1. Thank you so much for speaking out. Every time I see the word “disappointing” or “underwhelming” in my news feeds, I just get the urge to scream expletives at the author. Just because Phil didn’t give you the pony you wanted doesn’t mean that what you actually got wasn’t any good.

  2. Thank you! I couldn’t have said it better myself.

    You should have heard those kids over at Engadget yawning during their live blog of the Philnote. I wanted to reach through the Tubes and strangle them myself.

    People need to right size their expectations. Life isn’t all magic and sweet. Sometimes it’s just iLife 09 and iWork 09.

    Plus, it’s freaking awesome software and a freaking awesome laptop.

    These pundits and snarky journalists have some pretty high-end problems in their lives.

  3. I think this kind of attitude is exactly why Apple is pulling out of Macworld. It seems like there’s a new Mac Mini coming at some point relatively soon. It obviously isn’t ready, so Apple didn’t release it. Why should Apple force themselves to announce products based on someone else’s timeline, rather than when the products are ready.

  4. I agree. Some of those rumors were just plain silly and I’m surprised people actually believed them enough to get disappointed. Funny. Anyway – nice post. I’ll be linking to it.

  5. The addendum is very appropriate. I may be almost in grave compared to Mathew with my 30 years, but I wholeheartedly enjoyed both of the well chosen songs. I just saw the video, but it looked like both the band and the audience were on fire.

    He is half right though, I did not previously know the first song “The Best is Yet to Come”. It did not make my experience any lesser. I, contrary to Mathew, do not expect to sing along in every concert.

  6. Mr. ‘Lope? Sir? May I pile on?

    I don’t know who this “Matthew” person is. I’ve never even made fun of him on my blog; and I’ve made fun of everyone including myself.

    Anyway, if Matthew ever happens by here please offer him my heartfelt “Go Fuck Yourself.” Tony Bennett is one of the few who remember when street buns had more class than the average CEO has now. He was a class act then, and he’s gotten better with age.

  7. Problem is that yeah, this really was the worst keynote ever. When Amelio was at Apple for those few short months, it was a different ball game. Macs were beige and crappy. Apple were bleeding cash. MacWorld itself was a big deal event, and Apple were doing cool, if pointless things like QuickDraw 3d, GameSprokets and so on.

    For sure Steve made Macs exciting, polished up nextStep and for a while Apple got quite interesting. Today? ONE new mac, a bunch of expected upgrades to the app suite and no real unexpected news. Oh and the opportunity for you to re buy (possibly for the fourth time) your music content, this time in CD quality. Puhleeese.

    Bottom line is that the keynote was pretty lame.

    The frustration for me was the lack of real innovation in the iApps. C’mon, face “recognition”. Yeah facebook have been doing that awhile, and Microsoft shipped that feature in Windows Live Phot at PDC this year. Music Lessons in GarageBand? Line-6 have been doing that for a couple years. iWork online? Huh? Google apps and Office online.

    Now, no doubt, Apple can throw money at these services and make them a tad above mediocre (as with MobileMe) but if that’s all they got, then you gotta worry.

    Also whats with the Steve “health” announcement, THE DAY BEFORE MACWORLD????

    I really, hope the SEC nail Apple and/or Jobs for manipulating the stock price. On past history, MacWorld with few new product announcements see around a 5% drop in AAPL value. Today, around 1.8%, after a rally of around 4% yesterday post Health PR.

    And once again AAPL is being manipulated by carefully timed press releases.

    Both MacWorld and Apple look pretty shoddy right about now.

  8. And yeah, I do think it’s pretty ironic that Apple are taking the vast majority of their ideas from Microsoft and Google. Remember the WWDC banners with Redmond start your photocopiers?

  9. It occurs to me that Apple may well be sitting on more “surprising” announcements like the Mac mini, Apple TV or other rumoured updates for the coming weeks. It would be a nice way of reassuring shareholders and the press that they don’t need no stinkin’ Macworld.

  10. Rip, I’m gonna have to let that one play where it laid! Buns or Bums have more class than most CEOs, and certainly more than this Matthew tool.

  11. I actually think that this was an incredible display of technology.

    Shiny machines are well “shiny” and I love ’em, but zOMG what iMovie represents for the home user, GarageBand lessons for the kid wanting to learn to play, the revenue stream for stockholders in both GarageBand lessons and the up-coming iwork.com. And holy f-bomb… Faces and Places in iPhoto?! (don’t say “finally,” development and understanding what people really need and want takes time.)

    Machines are nice, but being able to do something truly stupendous with them with grace and ease is the real winner.

  12. @KILTBEAR: you named it. When I saw the possibilities of iMovie I thought to myself: hell of an app. And Garageband made my day: wanted to learn piano for years. Now there are no more excuses.
    Anyway: I didn’t expect an 28″ iMac with Flux-Compensator – today’s machines are all definately fast, nice&shiney and beyond everthing I dreamed to use, when I had my first Mac Plus.

  13. Phil definitely did a bit of blundering on stage. It was a great job, overall, but he does have a natural talent for it that could be nurtured and improved upon.

    Maybe he’ll run some of the special events in the future.

  14. @ rex: Ah, so Facebook has got face recognition? That was news to me, at least – I have only used the photo-tagging and so far, I have had to name the person to tag all by myself, without any face recognising software to aid me in the task.

    Could it be that you are mixing things a little here? What Facebook has, is called tagging, not face recognition – as far as I know.
    If that is so, then I guess the rest of your post keeps the same standard…

  15. Steve Jobs’s last two New York keynotes were atrocious. You guys have no sense of history. The one where they took iTools away and replaced it with .Mac? That was like death.

  16. I was truly hoping for a Mac Pro update (along with bringing the 30″ inline with the spanking new 24″ that’s out) — I’ve been saving greenbacks like crazy and have the wife’s permission for about $15K worth of new toys…

    However… I think that, if nothing else, this proves why Apple is leaving MacWorld. It wouldn’t surprise me if there isn’t some sort of PR event at least by late Spring when a happy and healthy Steve can come onstage and rock socks off.

  17. I like to measure the degree of success of a keynote by the amount of magic it contains.

    That is to say, what things are going to seem pretty incredible to the average user?

    This keynote was actually decent in that regard. You had:

    1) Face Recognition, which few people have actually encountered in practice – at best a camera that recognizes faces exist, but not specific people.
    2) Anti-Shake Video for Everyone. Look at the video example – magic. And a huge relief to the millions that must suffer now through shaky home video (even shake reduction cameras cannot overcome the average persons wild movement).
    3) A giant Macbook that can really go all day in practical use without a recharge.

    I don’t think Apple has to release a new product every year. There’s nothing wrong with them taking a Snow Leopard approach in taking existing products and adding a measured amount of awesome to them.

    I personally was not excited by the 17″ laptop before the keynote, in fact I had never considered buying one. But after the keynote I’m pretty sure I plan to buy a 17″ instead of the 15″ I was considering. Well played, Apple.

    Not even mentioned was burying DRM and putting up the tombstone, which I didn’t list as a “magic” item as few non-technical people really understand the implications – but for longest lasting impact, that cannot be beat as now companies everywhere can build products assuming unencumbered music formats.

  18. Rex:
    Just go see what GREAT stuff all these companies throw at you at CES right about now. That’s a year worth of innovation for most of them, and products that will launch some time this year. It’s really exciting stuff! Promise.Really.

    No, it was not a mindblowing release of products at the Keynote. So? In my opinion it was about equal to what we got last year; MacBook Air and movie rentals, and then some stuff. Not a great load of Mac’s there either. Before that – the iPhone. Nothing else. Go figure – I think this years Macworld was quite ok, and the features for iLife are great. Didn’t feel like upgrading last time – now I actually do. iMovie demo actually made me want to go by a new videocamera (which of course I know I’ll regret 🙂

    The problem these days is that there is a lot of quite accurate rumors out there – which makes it increasingly difficult for Apple to blow our minds. If it weren’t for 3 months of intens rumors about the DRM stuff, we would all go “yeah, dude!” – now it was more like “Finally!”.

  19. The reporting by Dan Lyons on how Apple Computer “has nothing interesting to sell” couldn’t be more off the mark…give me a break! Apple is one of the few innovative companies in the consumer tech industry, and just because they can’t re-invent new wheels on a monthly basis hardly knocks them out of the race. This is precisely why they pulled out of Exhibiting at Macworld, because they themselves set the bar so insanely high, they are now expected to absolutely rock the tech world every single January…or else they are bust?! Yeah, right. They are so astonishingly ahead of all of the Dells, Gateways, HPs and Microsofts of the world, that the minute they are no longer accelerating, they are out of the race…really? This logic is actually sad, and just proves the point that with some (petty) folks, no matter how many iPhones, iPods, or sublimely elegant and usable products Apple puts out, Apple will never win them over. This is clearly reflected on the stock market, and Apple could buy up several of those competitors and shut them down (as Mr. Dell suggested Apple should do, not so long ago…who’s laughing now?)

  20. No word about Snow Leopard. That’s what I really wanted to hear about.

    Still, iMovie looks like it is going to rock. That’s enough for me.

  21. Nice post, but Tony Bennett and every singer like him sucks. His type of music is worthless, not that the same can’t be said about most music in general. Otherwise I agree with you 100%.

  22. Hey REX. Tr0ll much? If all Apple did was copy everyone else (like Microsoft does) you might have a point. But they don’t, so you don’t either. And the only people manipulating the stock are the hedgefund a-holes. But why let facts or reality get in the way of your little diatribe.

  23. Phil’s only real presentation problem was that he definitely pulled a couple of premature slide advances… he just needs a little work on his showmanship.

    Nothing game changing, but they’re gonna get my money for at least iLife.

    @REX:

    feature checklists aren’t even half the story of what makes software great. shipping facial recognition to developers and putting it in the hands of a broad user base are two very different accomplishments.

    as for hardware announcements, apple clearly opted to release new hardware ahead of the xmas buying season (which is when everyone dumps the most cash), so your hardware complaints are predicated on strategically ill-conceived ideas.

    plus, since they’re not doing the jan macworld, apple are now free to introduce products *whenever they’re ready* instead of a week after christmas — sorry, does anyone really think this was ever smart to begin with?

  24. I liked your presentation a lot and agree whole-heartedly with your opinion -especially about the drinking. The after-hours parties have always made my MacWorld experience.
    Speak of which, I and the other guys here from MacMod will be around. Are you going to the Microsoft party tonight? If so, drop me a line. If this article is any indication you have a great online voice, and I’d like to meet up with you at some point.

    Cheers,
    ~Antonio

  25. Am I missing something Rex? Since when does Facebook have face recognition? I mean, you can tag photos, but facebook doesn’t recognize the face for me and suggest that it’s my friend Jimmy? I think that’s a pretty impressive software trick, maybe not something that’s going to be game-changer, but it sure will make iphoto a little more friendly to use.

    Also, “manipulating stock prices”? really? that seems a bit much, and definitely not SEC investigation worthy.

  26. We used to have Stevenotes. This was Schillertime. I think he did a great job with a mediocre hand. Schiller != Jobs and why would anybody expect it be the case?

    When it comes to speaking, I agree with you: Apple followers are spoiled. Urbillo (sp?) did a great job delivering iMovie too. The engineers in the battery movie did great too. Ives speaks and delivers well, even if Every. Word. Is. The. Most. Important. Ever. Forrestall is a great speaker too. None of them are Jobs. But that many people that can speak and engage in one place? That’s great.

    I feel sorry for other crappy companies.

    Actually, no I don’t.

  27. +

    Kudos, Macalope, for nailing this one. At this point in keynote hysteria, Jobs could come onstage, levitate, and announce a free Beatles catalog on iTunes with 10 albums’-worth of never-heard tracks (some with backing by Hendrix, Morrison, Elvis, and Jesus), and then end the keynote with a live re-enactment of the scene where River is introduced in the Firefly pilot (starring Summer Glau herself, dressed exactly as she was in that particular scene), then Jobs would say “One More Thing” and introduce the iEconomy, a DRM-free way to save jobs and get the country out of a 1.2 trillion dollar deficit —

    And people would still complain.

    “Sure, I heard the new Beatles tracks — and Jesus rocked! — but where’s the new Mac mini?”

    “A levitating Jobs and iEconomy and Summer Glau is all well and good, but where’s the damn iMiniTower that’s going to fill the gap between the iMac and Mac Pro?”

    “Yeah, it was good to know Jobs is alive and well — let alone Hendrix, Morrison, etc. — but why should I have to pay 30 cents to upgrade to a superior music product that sounds twice as good? Hell, any day now I expect to receive free Blu-Ray copies of all my standard-definition DVDs. After all, I ALREADY BOUGHT THEM.”

    Unbelievable. NO ONE is talking about the sound quality of the iTunes Plus tracks. So let them bitch. I’m upgrading my library and enjoying really good music on my iPhone. From iTunes. New Beatles, levitating Jobs, and River reenactment notwithstanding.

  28. Really? Fuck you? You took it that personally, did you? Decided to make it that personal, did you? Okay. Well, I hope that made you feel better. Stand by your brand.

    Takedowns are easy, and of course takedowns-of-takedowns are even easier. Especially when you don’t advance an argument other than to say I’m a jackass. But I think you missed (or misrepresented) my original point in your rush to curse at me, which was that if you want to look at what Expo will look like without Apple, this was kind of a preview. I never insinuated that anyone *expected* a new ipod or iphone, and you know it. Nor was my construction designed to “make you think that it’s somehow a failure on Apple’s part.” That’s just silly, and it’s injecting your own prejudices. Nor do I know where you got the “everyone said they were going to announce” line that you quoted, but it wasn’t from my piece. Of course, had you not misrepresented me, I guess it wouldn’t have been as fun of a piece for you to write, and maybe you wouldn’t have gotten a chance to say “Fuck you” at the end. But on another note, it is cool that you can copy Gruber’s thing so adeptly. I almost thought he wrote it. Nice work.

    MWE without Apple may be just fine, and it might even be better in some ways for 3rd party developers. It will bring more attention back to the show floor and what smaller vendors are doing, instead of just “hey, look, new Apple stuff!”. But it’s also going to lose the attention of very, very many people who follow it now–those outside of the hothouse of technology press, developers, and obsessive Apple users.

    The thing is, MWE has become synonymous with Apple (and of course Apple has become synonymous with game-changing products). To some extent Macworld Expo is a victim of Apple’s success. it doesn’t need Expo anymore. It can get all the press it wants, anytime it wants, and no longer needs to follow an arbitrary trade show schedule for product releases. It’s Apple now, not Apple Computer, remember?

    Citing Amelio is a perfect example of the kind of myopic analysis that mistakes today’s company with the dogcow-era Apple Computer. Ask your average iPhone/iPod owner who Amelio is and see what kind of blank stares you get in return. I’d wager that given how popular the Mac has become, all but the most fanatical Mac users wouldn’t know him. Props that you do, but you can’t really compare the Apple of 2009 with the Apple of 1996.

    For better or worse, today’s Apple has conditioned the public to want game changers. They didn’t get one yesterday and thus disappointment was a sentiment I heard a lot of in person, and a quick search of Twitter or Technorati will show that it’s widely echoed across the Web. And to many people, Macworld Expo IS Apple. I know that’s likely not true for you, and it’s certainly not true for me. But I *was* a Mac user during the Amelio era and I gather you were as well. Those days are over. Different company. Different times. Different expectations.

    Look, I love Apple products, I use them in almost every aspect of my life, from the time I wake up (literally, my iPhone is my alarm) until the time I go to bed at night. I use them to work, to relax, to create, to exercise. I hope Apple continues to roll out exceptional products. I expect it will.

    Moreoever, I hope Expo survives. I love it. It’s fantastic. I’ve covered it for years and years, only missing two since NYC 00–both times because I was out of the country. I always see old friends and make new ones. But it’s a trade show, not a meet up.

    The bottom line is that Apple has outgrown Expo and the lack of news that’s of interest to mainstream consumers–or likely even to the majority of existing Apple consumers–this year gives you a hint of what the show would look like without the company being there. Will Macworld Expo live on? Likely so. But it’s going to be a shadow of its current self, of the show that went on through the 00s era, without Apple there to anchor it. Obviously you disagree with that. But I think you’re wrong. (Not that I’m going to curse at you, though.)

    Oh. And if this was really all about Tony Bennett. Well, to each his own.

    Finally, I go by Mat in person. As in: “Fuck you to you, Mat.” Because if you’re going to make it personal, you should make it personal, right?

  29. I think Phil was up to the job and that he still has (and certainly have time) to improve. But not so much on his presentational skills but more on the authority he transmits. Right now we know that anything Jobs says is true for Apple as a whole, whether he is right or not. Phil doesn’t have the same authority (or still is not transmitting that authority with his message) so whatever he says, no matter how well he does, will always sound inconsequential. I know its a unfair place for Phil to be but, it seems like when he is talking people is looking to Jobs’ face to see his reaction and see if he agrees… I guess only time will change this.

  30. I too would like to add a “go fuck yourself” to this asshole.

    “Has anyone watched CEOs from other companies? They’d be lucky to have their keynotes delivered by Schiller, let alone Jobs.” I hadn’t thought of it that way, but that’s exactly right.

    I for one was quite impressed by the software updates and by the updated MBP at the same old price. Kudos to the Apple engineers and kudos to Phil.

    @Lugal: “Honan-ism” — very funny!

  31. I think one of the unsaid things here is that, frankly, for the consumer market, it may be the wrong for the devices and announcements we all want to hear. Right after Christmas, major cuts in spending, unclear financial futures. Even with Steve, it might not be the best time to make evolutionary announcements, or not.

  32. “Has anyone watched CEOs from other companies? They’d be lucky to have their keynotes delivered by Schiller, let alone Jobs.” I hadn’t thought of it that way, but that’s exactly right.

    If people keep complaining about Schillernotes, Apple’ll get revenge. They’ll announce that they’ll have one more keynote, at MacWorld 2010. For old time’s sake. Then once everyone gets in on that fateful January fourth, they’ll lock the doors, and have the entire note delivered by Cingular CEO Stan Sigman.

  33. @ rex

    Facebook doesn’t have face recognition, you have to “tag” each person in every photo.

    Stock prices go up and down every day; for a single stock 4% in either direction is nothing. The stock price could go up that much if the Fed just lowered the interest rate. When the stocks you own start making 10-15% one day swings you might understand. Besides, what company executives say in public DOES affect the stock prices. I suppose the SEC should investigate each company that has a swing in it’s stock price when it comes out with quarterlies. Oh wait, that happens every fucking day.

    Learn how to speak English.

    Now how about you go ahead and shut your damn cake-hole already.

    Moron.

  34. MacWorld attendees were lucky to hear Tony Bennett. Last month he sang at Harlem’s Apollo Theater. Among others, he performed “Fly Me to the Moon” without a microphone. In that sold-out vaudevillians’ house, you couldda heard a pin drop between his phrases.

  35. My first HUGE disappointment was when the iPod was announced. The rumors of the preceding weeks, which included sightings, pointed to an Apple PDA, and I WANTED ONE MORE THAN CAPS CAN CONVEY. I just didn’t see the point of the iPod. Plus it was incredibly expensive (in my mind). Maybe a year later, I picked up a 10 GB 2nd Gen refurb model for around $178. At that point, I got it. I knew that the iPod was going to be huge eventually.

    Six years after I was “let down” by (my unfounded expectations of) Apple, the iPod Touch came out, bringing me full circle. It’s easy to see in retrospect that Apple was 100% correct to pursue it’s path as it saw fit. Job’s gave unto us Apple faithful not what we thought we wanted, but something much cooler. Along the way, the iPod has changed into something that far surpasses what I thought I wanted.

    It was after my crushing disappointment that I gave up on buying into the rumor mongering, which wasn’t much more than a cottage industry back then (only 7 years ago?). Since then there have been truly awesome keynotes and non-keynote announcements, and less than awesome ones. The hype and buzz generated by the rumor sites only serves to heighten unrealistic expectations resulting in Apple fans getting disappointed and in Apple getting stuck with being disappointing at times.

    Apple finally bit the bullet and did the smart thing by pulling out of MacWorld. I don’t blame Apple, I don’t blame IDG, I don’t blame the conflicts that have arisen over time between the two parties. I blame the rumor sites, and to those that share in the responsibility by patronizing them. You guys all want to get some pitchforks and torches and form a mob? I’m down with that if we’re going to target those that make a living purveying rumors.

    Lastly, I just want to say, “Fuck you, Mat.” Guys like Mat are part of the problem. I read his apologia in the comments, and if his defense is sincere, then he really lacks skill as a writer. Because clearly (if he is sincere) he was not able to express what he meant to express. Mat, if you’re reading this: Words mean something. Learn to use them to express yourself clearly. This might require you to think about what you are trying to say, but that could also lead you to developing something interesting or original to say. Hey, it could happen.

  36. Poor Mat fails to realize that HE went personal and insulting (call it a “thinly-velied insult” if you will) to all of us bellow 60 (I’m 33 or instance) that really enjoy and respect Mr. Bennett’s performances.

  37. Three years ago, all you’d expect at a Macworld keynote would be what was announced last week. iLife, iWork, some new hardware maybe. But ever since iPhone was announced, people are clamoring for a revolutionary product every time Jobs (or in this case, Schiller) mount the stage. That is certainly not sustainable, even for a large company like Apple.

    Macalope, you’ve packaged everything I’ve ever wanted to yell at my RSS reader into one hell of a blog post.

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