Gin rummy.

The Macalope sees that John C. (the “C.” is for “C. What An Ass I can Be?”) Dvorak is ginning up hits from Apple web sites by saying Apple should “pull the plug” on the iPhone…

before it’s too late! Aaaaaaahhhh! (Cached link here.)

The Macalope has discussed this before, of all the silly pundits, Dvorak is really the one who deserves no links.

The problem with Rob Enderle is not Rob Enderle, it’s lazy journalism. Paul Thurrott is largely just a Microsoft fan boy and has, on occasion, a nice word for Apple. And the Macalope firmly believes that George Ou believes every crazy koo-koo bananas thing that he writes.

But Dvorak has no business writing about Apple. Period. When a pundit has admitted he’s just flame-baiting, why would anyone take his opinion seriously?

So don’t click through to read Dvorak’s trolling. Click here and ask MarketWatch why anyone should listen to anything John Dvorak has to say about Apple ever. Don’t use filthy words, don’t use capital letters, don’t go all Artie MacStrawman. Just do the textual equivalent of sighing and rolling your eyes.

And then go read something else.

Is it October already?

Apple releases Boot Camp 1.2 beta (tip o’ the antlers to Daring Fireball).

Boot Camp 1.2 beta includes:

  • Support for Windows Vista (32-bit)

Fortunately for the Macalope, he can just go trick-or-treating as-is. But what are you going to wear?


Leopard May Be Delayed Due to Vista Compatibility


Apple’s new “Leopard” operating system, most recently expected to launch next month, has reportedly been delayed until October in order to ensure compatibility with Microsoft Windows Vista.*


Spaces, which lets them use a single key to toggle among applications.


“[blah, blah, blah, black is white, up is down, blah, blah, blah]**,” Rob Enderle, principal analyst with the Enderle Group, told MacNewsWorld.


“You don’t want to sacrifice the second half*** just because you want to get an early launch.”


Is Leopard Delayed? Nope, not according to Apple

Just spoke with Apple who confirmed the reports are wrong…



* Emphasis the Macalope’s.

** Bracketed text the Macalope’s. Obviously.

*** Emphasis the Macalope’s. Note to Mr. Enderle, October is in the fourth quarter.


Does anyone read anymore?

After the Macalope took George Ou to task for his paranoid and patently false rantings and Mr. Gruber did the same, the horny one hardly expected to see them uncritically reported elsewhere.

And yet they were.

The first incident was by a goofball that even the Macalope — who covers the goofball beat — won’t touch.

There is considerable irony in a blogger uncritically repeating and boosting false information in a post where he’s taking another blogger to task for… uncritically repeating and boosting false information.

That’s kind of the textbook example of irony, actually.

The second is Seth Jayson at the Motley Fool (tip o’ the antlers to several readers who emailed this in).

There’s a large and tangled web here, but according to ZD Net’s George Ou, the effort to smear the computer security researchers was led by none other than Apple PR director Lynn Fox, aided and abetted by the brittle, easily fooled iSheep at Slashdot and Digg.

Mmm. Well, according to one of the two victims of Ou’s bizarre vendetta, Ou has no idea what the hell he’s talking about. So…

This comes from a company that’s proven to be unbelievably adept at marketing, beginning with its adoption of the MP3 player technology that others pioneered, and the successful creation of the mass fiction that it invented the concept.

The word is “reinvented”, dumbass. Apple reinvented the computer, it reinvented the MP3 player and it reinvented the phone.

It even says that in their marketing materials:

Apple ignited the personal computer revolution in the 1970s with the Apple II and reinvented the personal computer in the 1980s with the Macintosh.


This is, after all, the same company that whitewashed a large options-backdating scandal, giving a free pass to CEO Steve Jobs for the bogus excuse that he didn’t understand the accounting implications.

Is it bogus? The Macalope suspects it is, but he doesn’t know. And neither do you.

Jayson also reaches back to a year ago when Apple fired an employee who jokingly waxed poetic about long hold times for support calls. Does the Macalope think that was the right thing to do? No.

But waaaaiiiiit fooooooor iiiiiiit…

Because, to its credit, the Motley Fool posts the portfolio of each of its writers. Jayson holds no AAPL, but he does hold MSFT.


Well, it’s probably because Microsoft never axed anyone for image reasons.


The Macalope holds an inconsequential number of Apple shares.

And that is why you fail.

Everyone’s linking to David Pogue’s Apple TV review today. Pogue also has some spillover content on his blog, including a clue as to why Apple only allows you to buy video content, not rent.

Here’s how the Xbox handles it:

First, each movie is available for rental only during a several-week window–then it’s gone. Second, you have to start watching the movie within two weeks of downloading it. Third, once you start watching it, you have to finish watching within 24 hours.

In each case, the movie is lost forever if you’re tardy.

Well, isn’t that craptacular?!

The Macalope suspect that — like DRM — Apple could probably find a better way of handling rentals than Microsoft which loves to roll over to the recording industry. But barring that, that’s really one of the differentiators between the two companies, isn’t it? Microsoft’s willing to give you a half-assed solution for something were Apple says, no, you don’t want to do that because it’s going to suck.

Can’t you just hear Steve Jobs saying that?

And you’d just nod vigorously in agreement, too, wouldn’t you.

Finally, here’s Michael Gartenberg’s on the Apple TV after a glowing review:

Is there a downside? Not really.

There you have it.

Nazi Apple supermen are our superiors

[ADDENDUM: A commenter rightly questions the use of the word "Nazi" in this post (the title is a riff on a gag from the Simpsons). The Macalope uses the word deliberately as a response to Ou's comparison of Apple to Joseph Goebbels.

Ou's comparison is absurd, insulting and trivializes what the Nazis did.

The Macalope thought about the implications of using the Nazi comparison throughout, but wanted to drive home the point. He hopes you understand.]

Following up on his successes yesterday, George Ou keys what should be called “Artie MacStrawman in Nuremberg” and will probably cause Macalope readers to hemorrhage out their eyeballs because, yes, we’re still talking about the wireless controversy!

The Macalope is terribly, terribly sorry. But, in for a penny…

Last summer when I wrote “Vicious orchestrated assault on MacBook wireless researchers”, it set off a long chain of heated debated [sic] and blogs. I had hoped to release the information on who orchestrated the vicious assault, but threats of lawsuits and a spineless company that refused to defend itself meant I couldn’t disclose the details.

Ah, we’re already off to a good start.

The problem with Ou’s entire premise — that Lynn Fox is a Nazi propagandist and has been whispering nothing but sweet, sweet lies into Mac users’ ears — is that he thinks Mac users can’t read.

Everyone simply assumed Maynor and Ellch were frauds because they supposedly “admitted it.”

No, George, “everyone” did not assume that. “Many” may have assumed that or “some” may have assumed that, but most simply thought that they might be frauds because they kept changing their story.

Ou has a particular beef with two pieces — one by Jim Dalrymple at Macworld and one by David Chartier at The Unofficial Apple Weblog — which he thinks were “hit pieces” all but commissioned by Lynn Fox and part of Steve “Call me Adolf!” Jobs’ master plan to take over the Internets by blitzkrieg.

The Macalope doesn’t recall reading Dalrymple’s piece at the time, but he did read Chartier’s piece and he knew it was wrong when he read it — Secureworks was not admitting anything — because he read the disclaimer on their web site. Chartier is a good blogger and the Macalope thoroughly enjoys TUAW, but that particular post assumed too much.

Ou wonders:

But did Chartier really just happen to come across the evidence?

Ou is clearly skeptical that Chartier would be able to type “” into his browser. The Macalope is not going to contest this particular point, but he will note that if you read the post Chartier ends with a thank-you to “NotVeryPC”. Why, maybe that’s Lynn Fox’s secret code name! Personally, the Macalope would have thought it would be something like “AppleFoxy” or “CleverLikeAFox”, but that’s exactly what she wants you to think!

Ou believes Chartier was fed erroneous and/or misleading information from Fox which he then — being the good German Artie MacStrawman blogger that he must be to keep Ou’s fantasy view of the Mac web whole — mindlessly regurgitated to please his Cupertino masters.

When I called David Maynor to get to the bottom of this, it turned out that Apple PR director Lynn Fox (who was also cited by Jim Dalyrimple [sic] as proof that the researchers “misrepresented” the research) was the puppetmaster from start to finish.

So, you called David Maynor and he said Fox was unleashing her Mac blogger Luftwaffe. Gotcha. No, no! That’s good enough for the Macalope!

And, dude, you did not just write “puppetmaster”, did you?! That is awesome.

She not only contacted sympathetic bloggers like Chartier and “journalists” like Jim Dalrymple, she was actually the one that got SecureWorks to publish the “clarification” in the first place.

Wow. George seems pretty sure of himself.

But the Macalope decided to check. He asked Chartier if he’d ever been contacted by Lynn Fox about this and here’s what he said via email:

What a riot: no, I have never been contacted by Fox or anyone else from Apple regarding any of this stuff. In fact, I’m not even receiving those post-support call surveys or notices that my Mac warranties are about to expire and that AppleCare is an affordable way to stay within Apple’s graces.

Huh. Well, how about that?

Ou also pointed his tin-foil hat in the Macalope’s direction in those halcyon days of late summer but, for the record, the Macalope has never been contacted by Apple PR, Lynn Fox, Steve Jobs, Joseph Gerbils [sic] or anyone qualified to speak in any official capacity about Apple.

Ou appears to be hinting — as only Ou can appear to hint — that Fox confirmed that she contacted both Dalrymple and Chartier with the express purpose of goin’ all Leni Riefenstahl on their asses.

When I finally got Fox back on the phone, I asked her some questions about how MacWorld [sic] and the unofficial Apple blog [sic] got the information on the so-called confession. I got all my questions answered, but I can’t disclose what she said since Fox refused to speak on the record. But the bottom line is that Lynn Fox played Jim Dalrymple, David Chartier, and the rest of the Mac press/blogosphere like a violin, though it was clear they were all willing participants.

Ou says “yes”. Chartier says “no”.

You can guess who the Macalope believes.

But why would Chartier think all on his lonesome that Secureworks was admitting to have falsified the presentation if Frauline Fox wasn’t pulling the strings?

Well, maybe it has something to do with Brian Krebs (tip o’ the antlers to Brian Krebs Watch).

Indeed, as I reported earlier, in his hotel room on the eve of that presentation, Maynor showed me a live demo of him exploiting the built-in Macbook drivers to break into the machine from another laptop — without a third party card plugged in.

Ou doesn’t mention it, but it had already been reported that Maynor and Ellch had hacked native Airport drivers. Secureworks didn’t want to talk about the free lap dance they gave Krebs in the hotel room because they botched their delivery. They only wanted to talk about the formal Black Hat presentation. Now how could those silly Mac users get so confused when it was all so clear?!

But, shhh. George is on a roll.

Once she got SecureWorks to publish the clarification that merely reiterated the fact that third party hardware was used in the original video (which was clearly disclosed in the first 20 seconds of the video that it was third party hardware), she used that as “incriminating” evidence that the researchers admitted to falsifying the video and shared her “findings” with Apple friendly press.

Well, George, Chartier says he wasn’t contacted by Fox. And it’s at tad (read: extremely) absurd to ascribe some conspiracy theory to the fact that Dalrymple — a journalist (despite Ou’s quotes) for Macworld magazine — was in contact with Apple PR on the most significant story of last August and September.

When I pointed out the flaws in their stories, Chartier and Dalrymple simply ignored me and stuck to their guns.

This is false. Yes, Chartier’s piece is still in its original form, but you can read through Dalrymple’s piece and see if you see the word “misrepresent” (the word Ou complains about) anywhere in there. It’s not, because the piece has been corrected, which is what journalists do. But here it is six months later and Ou is still bitching about it.

The Macalope knows a lot of readers wish he’d just stop covering Ou. Isn’t the real question why ZDNet continues to let his cartoonish rantings go on?

UPDATE: David Chartier posts some thoughts and amends his original post.

Fans of the Simpsons may recognize the title of this post.


Admittedly, it’s a low blow to hit someone on a typo, but the Macalope just couldn’t pass this one up. Here’s George Ou complaining about Apple’s “Get a Mac” ads:

And you get your IT security information from commercials now? Yes they conveyed the idea pretty well, but then again so did Joseph Gerbils.

The Macalope’s really not sure which is funnier — the thought of rodent propagandists or unironically equating Apple to an organization that orchestrated the murder of millions.

Have you tried exorcism?

Kris Tuttle at Seeking Alpha flogs the “Dell wants to sell Macs!” non-story.

Even though I can’t see a clear path to a deal of some sort, that comment from Michael Dell continues to haunt me.

Well, you really need to rid yourself of this appartition because while there are a dozen reasons it makes sense for Dell, there are exactly… uh, let’s see, three times four… take the derivative… carry the one… uh… zero for Apple.

Na. Gonna. Happen.

The Macalope is a benevolent mythical beast

The Macalope has received many, many requests for full RSS feeds. He has heard your cries and at long last he is able to say “Let them eat text!”

With this post, the RSS feed should contain the entire text of the post.

The Macalope is also working on putting some hopefully tasteful and Mac-oriented (is that redundant?) text ads into the feed (there’s no such thing as a free lunch) so if they don’t appear with this post, they should appear soon.

Oh, and the links have been changed to more readable descriptive links (but the old ones should still work).

The Zune continues to not catch a break

A few Zune-related links for your amusement:

Michael Gartenberg is still looking for someone to squirt with. Click through to the post by Steven Levy who did manage to get squirted in the wild (and doesn’t that sound great?! Awesome use of metaphor, Microsoft!):

…the song he sent was actually recorded by his own band. Matt told me that when he added the song to his Zune, he put no DRM on it, and indeed his preference would be to let me have it with no protections so I could keep it and even share it as much as I wanted with friends. But the way Zune handles its song sharing, its draconian DRM is slapped on tunes indiscriminately, whether the artists want it there or not. That stinks.

And then enjoy seeing a Zune guerilla marketer get hauled off by the Austin police (tip o’ the antlers to BoingBoing).

Now, enough Zune schadenfreude! Go do your homework!