Monkeys flinging their own poo

Apple TKOs Cisco in iPhone bout, analysts say.

As part of the settlement, all legal action on both sides has been dismissed, but the rest of the arrangement’s details remain confidential.

[Emphasis the Macalope’s.]

That didn’t stop analysts familiar with Apple, Cisco and the iPhone brouhaha from speculating on who won and, more important, who lost at the negotiation table.

EEEE-EEEEE-EEEE! OH-HA-HA-HA!

“The rule in Silicon Valley is that if Apple leaves the table smiling, the other guy got screwed,” said Rob Enderle, an independent analyst and principal of the Enderle Group.

OOH-OOH-OOH-OOH!

Roger Kay, of Endpoint Technologies Associates, agreed. “It certainly looks like Cisco gave away the store.”

OOH-HA-HA-HA-HOOOOOOOO!

Both Enderle and Kay said their take was based on the clear value of the iPhone name, and the vague interoperability promises made in the statement. “I’m not convinced that Cisco got what it wanted out of this,” said Enderle. In the past, he added, Apple has made promises to partners that it didn’t keep. “That’s been a history of deals with Apple. The partner always regrets it.”

OOH-HA-HA! EEE-EEE-EEE! OOH-OOH-OOH!

As usual, Enderle is talking out of orifices that were not meant for such purposes.

Cisco clearly could not have given a rat’s ass about the iPhone trademark. It Photoshopped the name on existing products to try to give the illusion that it had great big plans for it. Then it happily came to an agreement with a company that was going to put it on a landmark product that will turn Cisco’s use of the trademark into a footnote. A brief anachronism.

Do not, dear readers, shed a single tear over poor Cisco. The Macalope doesn’t know the terms of the deal any more than Enderle does, but whatever it got, it was adequately compensated for half an hour of Photoshopping.

Comments
  • EEEE-EEEEE-EEEE! OH-HA-HA-HA!

    Isn’t that the beginning to Jungle Love by Morris Day and the Time?

    So there wil be two iPhones. One that people buy and one that people don’t.

    The Blattapus loves analysis of analists analysis.

  • Apple and Cisco will both do just fine. Apple needed the trademark. Cisco really didn’t. If both companies really needed that trademark there would have been a real fight.

    Cisco is the 800-pound gorilla of internet hardware. They wouldn’t have made peace that easily if they took anything like a real screwing.

    Rob Enderle proves once again that being an assclown is no real detriment to being taken seriously by people who don’t really get it.

  • Don:

    I think the Macalope is wrong on one VERY IMPORTANT POINT that everyone, even the analysts, are missing:

    I firmly believe that it took more than 1/2 hour of Photoshopping. And since I’m a Photoshop professional, I should know.

    Then again, I use “Photoshop professional” in the same way that Enderle uses “analyst”, so uh, maybe not.

  • MonkeyT:

    I DID work as a Photoshop professional for many years, and if that hack job took more than 10 minutes, Cisco’s gotten screwed more than once this year.

  • M.e.:

    EEEE-EEEEE-EEEE! OH-HA-HA-HA!

    That’s the Transformers sound! Monkey’s don’t dig Decepticons.

  • LKM:

    I too think it took at most 10 minutes of photoshoping, judging by the quality of Cisco’s work. And yes, I agree that this is the important question here. Ten minutes? An hour? We might never know!

  • Follower:

    I’m trying to think off-hand if there are any cases where Enderle may technically be correct. (And, as usual, failing to do so.) Have there been any deals where Apple has really screwed over a business partner, in a PlaysForSure kind of way? Sure, the record companies aren’t that happy with Apple, but that’s because they would have preferred a promise (that of all iTunes tracks staying 99ยข) to be broken; they’re upset that it’s been kept. Not quite the same thing.

  • Blain:

    Have there been any deals where Apple has really screwed over a business partner
    I don’t know if it counts, but there was that whole cloning thing back in the late 90s. What with licensing agreements all the way up to MacOS 8 (Copland), so Apple did a name change of MacOS 7.7 to 8. That and the ‘We won’t license you for G3 computers’ bit. It probably was for the best, mind you, but still.

  • Ed:

    The record labels are unhappy with Apple for exactly one reason:
    They agreed to contracts that they now regret.

    In other words, they didn’t have the vision or the foresight to understand what they were signing, and now that Itunes is successful, they think they got screwed.

    If this scenario sounds vaguely familiar, like say a bright young singer getting screwed by record companies because of a naive understanding, well, Fate likes her little ironies.

  • Kim Helliwell:

    I LOVE the headline for this entry! I chuckle every time I read it! All you need to know is that it’s about Enderle and others of his ilk, and the point becomes clear.

    High-five to you, Macalope!

  • ScoPi:

    Anyone here seen Larry Buchanan’s Mistress of the Apes? Why? No reason.

    http://www.stomptokyo.com/movies/m/mistress-ot-apes.html

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