Satire truly is dead.

SecureWorks and Apple now working together.

Today on Macworld’s web site (antler tip to Daring Fireball):

Apple and SecureWorks “Working Together”; Toorcon Presentation Canceled.

“SecureWorks and Apple are working together in conjunction with the CERT Coordination Center on any reported security issues,” SecureWorks said in a statement provided to Macworld. “We will not make any additional public statements regarding work underway until both companies agree, along with CERT/CC, that it is appropriate.”

Last week on Crazy Apple Rumors:

Apple/SecureWorks Controversy Ends Bizarrely.

In a bizarre ending to the Apple/SecureWorks controversy (also known as Security Bitch Watch), technology industry sources indicate that the two companies – previously at bitter odds over the security of Apple’s Airport hardware and drivers – were seen making out together in the parking lot behind the dumpster.

“Wha-?” said ZDNet’s George Ou upon hearing the news. “But… but… after all I did for SecureWorks I thought…

“I thought SecureWorks and I… were…”

Ou burst into tears and ran into the girls bathroom.

4 thoughts on “Satire truly is dead.”

  1. I’m sure they’ll play it as a victory for the whatever side it is they’re rooting now.

    It’s a nice move by Apple for security consciousness, but leaves just enough open for the saga to continue. “A soap opera for nerds” indeed.

  2. I’ve stated this before: My problem is with Brian Krebs’s reporting on this issue, not Maynor or Ellch.

    That being said, if they have something, now is the time to stand up and say “f*** you” to SecureWorks. They are being turned into jokes. The fact that they haven’t is fairly telling that there is NO evidence.

  3. “Ou burst into tears and ran into the girls bathroom.”

    This is all hearsay. Hearsay and libel. I mean, were you in the girls bathroom at the time? And what exactly did you do?

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