Apple must…

…evolve or face extinction (Link – January, 2005: “More realistically though, the company will have to give in and include Microsoft wma audio support on future revisions of its products.”)

…build a MusicPhone (Link – 2006: “Microsoft has strong assets it could deploy in musicphones if it marshaled those resources intelligently. Instead, it appears that Microsoft is chasing after the wrong iPod – today’s nano and iPod, rather than the upcoming iPodphone.”)

…act like it’s 1984 all over again (Link – Great advice!  Thanks!  Note to self:  buy thin ties…).

…entice developers to write exciting programs for Rhapsody right now (Link – 1997).

…abandon multimedia playback and adopt inferior Microsoft technologies (Link – 1998, Avie Tevanian’s testimony on Microsoft’s demands in the Department of Justice monopoly investigation).

…immediately acknowledge and address the manufacturing defect on the LCD screens of its Powerbook G4 laptops (Link).

…make its OS X compatible with non-proprietary PC hardware (Link).

…switch to Windows (Link – 2006 Crazy Apple Rumors story with a link to the original that was apparently so bad it was taken down).

…encourage cloning because without a successful clone market there will be fewer reasons to develop for the Apple platform (Link – September, 1997 final exams from a Berkeley class in Strategic Computing and Communications Technology).

…enable Rhapsody so that it supports the Windows interface and applications (same as above).

…take all out efforts to ensure the creation of a cross-platform system architecture, called CHRP (same as above).

…drool thinking about the other 95 percent of the market—the part it doesn’t own (Link – 2003: Dvorak predicts that in 2004, Apple will offer “another version of the OS for the plain x86 family, selling that version directly to any OEM (Dell, HP, IBM, and others) for bundling.”  Homer to Marge:  “Don’t you get tired of being wrong all the time?”).

…save big felines (Link).

Trackbacks Comments
  • Scott Nicholas:

    You said it, man. And it doesn’t just go for Dvorak.

    Don’t the silly pundits ever get sick of being wrong pretty much all the time?

    Of course they don’t. Being wrong drives hits. Welcome to the age of internet media.

  • GadgetGav:

    Apple must…
    …hurry up and be the failure that all these ‘experts’ have predicted. Have they no shame..? I mean, that iPod thing will never catch on and if they don’t licence to Dell soon, who’s going to buy their hardware?

  • the valrus:

    And somehow, the last mandate seems the most reasonable.

  • Apple must fix the analogue menu-bar clock in 10.4. Otherwise they are definitely going down!

  • Mike:

    Actually, I had a white spot on my old PowerBook G4 (was the 800mhz model). It came back with the white spot after they replaced my hard drive and optical drive. They happily fixed it afterwards, though I guess the big deal is if you don’t have a warranty and are paying for the repairs yourself.

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