The hits keep coming

Apple’s quarterly results are pretty good all things considered. And are you a good App Store customer? Punk? AtMacworld.

The real Jobs is only a firing hazard

Plush Jobs (tip o’ the antlers to Macworld:

Plush Jobs is not for children. Unfortunately he is a choking hazard. Please be 18 or older to handle Jobs responsibly.

It's not dead yet!

And neither is the Macalope!

Sorry for the late link to last week’s Macworld piece. But it mentions the Zune and makes an uncomfortable analogy. Also, it’s fun kicking around Forrester Research.

It's the ruination of X as we know it!

It’s also this week’s Macworld piece, which looks at MacHeist, variable iTunes pricing and music subscriptions.

No, no, no

Look, let the Macalope show you how this is done.

WRONG: Roger Kay’s Microsoft-sponsored “Apple tax” analysis is out of line! Let me show you a detailed analysis of how he pads and distorts the costs!

RIGHT: Microsoft has boxed itself into a corner of expensive, nonsensical and uncompelling upgrade paths and is behaving like a spoiled child because its customers have started realizing they don’t have to use Windows. They know it and Roger Kay knows it. If they spent half the time they spend filling out fake tax forms and paying actresses to buy their products actually making a good user experience, they might be able to speak about value with an iota of credibility. But probably not.

See the difference?

ADDENDUM: Just to be clear, this is not a rational argument they’re trying to make, so don’t treat it like one. Don’t waste your time refuting horse shit. When someone calls you a name, you don’t say “Am not!” You say “Yeah? That’s not what your mother said while I was…” Etc.

Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight.

You get what you pay for

This whole horse has been beaten into a mass of only vaguely horse-like matter by now, but as BusinessWeek’s Arik Hesseldahl points out, Microsoft’s actress paid less for the laptop she got because, dur-hey, it’s worth less.

Fun with headlines

MacNN headline:

Nokia making “quantum leaps” to catch iPhone

Quote from the story:

[Nokia's new markets executive VP Anssi Vankoji] tells VentureBeat that while Nokia currently has technically superior hardware, the accessibility of its features and the overall ease of the use of the devices still have to take “quantum leaps” to reach Apple’s current level, which relies on simple gestures and icons for control.

[Emphasis the Macalope's.]

Security sanity

If you’re interested in Mac security issues, the Macalope recommends listening to the Network Security Podcast’s interview with Dino Dai Zovi.

It’s refreshing to hear security people who know what they’re talking about, are proponents of the platform and have a decent relationship with Apple.

Sigh. Microsoft.

This week’s piece on Macworld says it’s go time with Microsoft. So take two fingers, point them at your eyes, then point them at Microsoft.

Go on.

No, no, you’re not really doing it. Do it.