Apple Fools of the Year, the Junior Varsity Squad
Here are the also-rans of this year’s list of fools.
14. Jenna Wortham
There’s an annoying predilection among pundits to try to be the first to call a new wave and Jenna probably thought she was on to something when she wrote a year ago that Apple’s “spell” was “wearing off”.
What was her evidence? Derogatory comments about the company on blogs and Facebook. Are you new on the Internet or something, Jenna?
13. Tony Bradley
Bradley made the top 10 last year but dropped off the list this year. Despite that fact that he said that Google was uniquely qualified to create an iPad-killer because all it had to do was build on the iPhone-killing Nexus One.
Really. He said that. Almost exactly like that. No, really. OK, fine, here’s the quote.
It only makes sense that Google would take its “iPhone killer” Nexus One initiative to the next level and deliver an Android-based “iPad killer” as well.
Yeah, see, you didn’t believe the Macalope, but there it is.
He also, like many a silly pundit, unquestioningly quoted a pro-Android survey that anyone reasonable would have noticed had a rather substantial selection bias.
Still, not enough to make this year’s list when the competition is so tough.
12. Joshua Kors
Kors was under serious consideration for a while but ultimately the Macalope decided his supposedly jokey failed attempt to switch to the Mac was simply too pathetic to include. Apparently it was “satire” and the fact that you Apple fanatics missed that, well, that just shows your zealotry. Even if it wasn’t even the slightest bit funny.
Also, Kors would like everyone to know that because he got some mean emails and comments, he’s a victim just like gay teens who suffer actual bullying.
He really made that comparison. Hard to believe, but he really did.
11. David Goldman
Goldman was a late drop from the list when Brett Arends decided to plagiarize Brett Arends.
Back in May, Goldman claimed Apple was losing touch with its customer base. The customer base that keeps growing and growing and growing. That customer base.
One of Goldman’s complaints was the “epic hissy fit” he says the company threw over the missing iPhone 4 incident. The “epic hissy fit” that consisted of calling the police because someone was trying to sell their misappropriate property. That “epic hissy fit”.
Goldman displayed his tenuous grasp of reality again last month when he said Apple really needed “to kill it with the iPad 2” because the Xoom was so super-awesome and was cheaper! Provided one ignored the fine print about having to get locked into a two-year contract.
With financial advice like that, the Macalope would hate to look at Goldman’s mortgage or car payment arrangements.