The kids these days with the iPhones! I tells ya!
Every time the Macalope tries to get out of the business of jousting at silly pundits, he gets pulled back in.
The horny one was determined to ignore Tom Kaneshige’s InfoWorld piece entitled “A new etiquette for the iPhone generation”. Really he was. He ignored it when he saw it in InfoWorld’s daily email blast. He ignored it again when he saw it has been reposted by InfoWorld’s sister publication, Macworld.
But then someone emailed it to him and instinct took over.
Stupid antelope genes.
Armin Henreich’s infamous “I Am Rich” iPhone application—a $1,000 ruby-red screen saver—was pulled from Apple App Store shelves months ago, but its message still resonates loudly.
Really? With who? Other than jackass tech journalists.
Now the iPhone, the tech symbol of the “in” crowd, is on the verge of crossing the line into AIG-like excess and arrogance.
Hey, everyone! We’re getting a bailout and a taxpayer-funded trip to a spa! Whoo-hoo!
“I’m not sure, under the current economic conditions, that it’s a great statement to make,” says Rob Enderle, principal analyst of the Enderle Group. “You may not want to flash it.”
Are you suggesting, Tom, that we take advice on what kind of personal statement to make from this man?
Or really any kind of advice?
C’mon, Tom. Not every iPhone user can suddenly take up golf. For starters, there aren’t enough tee times.
Maybe you’re new around here so the Macalope will just let you know that quoting Enderle in a piece about Apple is tantamount to scrawling on the top of said piece “I AM SO PHONING THIS IN” next to your byline in crayon.
From “my apps are cooler than your apps” contests…
The Macalope must have missed this contest. Anyone know what he’s talking about here?
…to “sent from my iPhone” e-mail footers…
Yeah, it’s a good thing no other smart phones have those!
cough – Blackberry – cough
…people love showing off their iPhones.
Yeah, what is up with that?! My god, people! Get a phone you’re embarrassed of! Tuck it away in the closet! Bury it in a mason jar under your porch!
NEVER SPEAK OF IT AGAIN.
Traditional cell phones and iPods already audibly isolated people in their own little worlds, and iPhone’s visual carnival pushes that isolation further.
Wait, wait, wait. Which is it, Tom? Are we loud-mouthed show-offs who insist on pushing our gaudy iPhones on everyone we meet on the street, or are we quiet introverts, leading lonely, isolated lives, shunning all human contact for the warm glow of technology? It can’t be both, dude.
The visual nature of the iPhone can be a big distraction. Will consumers, walking around with their heads down as they play a game or look at a map on the iPhone’s mini-screen, collide with each other like pinballs?
Will these iPhone-using kids wander onto our lawns and summarily decline to get off of them?
Last month, a train engineer in Los Angeles was allegedly text messaging on his cell phone moments before he crashed into a freight train, killing 25 people, including himself.
That settles it! From now on, only the Amish will drive our nation’s trains!
Look, this kind of trite, bullshitty article gets trotted out every so often by lazy-assed writers (or, in fairness to Kaneshige, writers with lazy-assed editors) who dourly want to warn us of the perils of the
printing press cotton gin horseless carriage phonograph television…
Oh, fuck it, you get the point.
Just stop it.