InformationWeek’s John Soat’s got 10 Indications Apple’s Headed for a Fall! (Tip o’ the antlers to Gene Moreau via email.)
Aaaaaiiiii! Say it isn’t so, John!
It’s list time! The list is a journalist’s best friend–easy to write and very popular online.
Well, at least you’re being open. So, you’re lazy and you’re trolling for hits. Good to know.
Let’s forge on. Tell the Macalope: why is Apple headed for a fall?
10) The same reason the Dow won’t stay at 13,000–gravity.
That, John, is effectively saying the same thing as “evil spirits”. Boy, you really are feeling lazy today.
And, unfortunately, the rest of the list isn’t much better.
9) Just about everyone who might possibly want an iPod has one.
Well, yes, iPod sales growth is tailing off, so it’s a good thing Apple makes other products. They also have this thing coming out called the iPhone. You might have heard about it. It was in all the papers. At least the ones where the journalists don’t fall back on lists all the time.
8) Apple hasn’t refreshed its computer line in a few years.
A few years? OK, most of the lineup hasn’t been refreshed since mid-2006, but the Mac Pro just got eight cores. That ain’t too shabby.
7) When an online impersonator of the CEO is more interesting than the CEO himself, that’s not a good sign.
Now you’re just making things up. Sure, we all love Fake Steve, but is he really more interesting than real Steve? If real Steve had a blog, whose do you think would be read more?
6) Apple opened seven stores last quarter, for a total of 177 worldwide, and a third store is planned for Manhattan. Are there enough thin, cool, good-looking young people in the world to staff them?
C’mon. Tell the truth. You couldn’t come up with 10 real problems. Maybe these list things aren’t that easy. Or you’re even lazier than you think.
5) Everyone is getting tired of those “I’m a Mac … And I’m a PC” commercials.
Well, some people are. Like Bill Gates. The Macalope bets he’s real tired of them.
4) There’s increasing speculation the iPhone will flop.
Uh, yeah, but Steve Ballmer’s opinion isn’t exactly unbiased.
3) Windows Vista is better than it’s getting credit for.
Yes. So is broccoli. Don’t expect a rush on it.
2) That pesky stock options backdating thing won’t go away.
1 out of 10. Monkeys could do better.
1) I just bought an Apple iMac, which carries with it my personal version of the Sports Illustrated cover curse.
Ah, so the whole thing is just a build-up to a joke about your poor personal buying record?! Awesome!