Always with the negative waves

More good results from Apple, more gloom and doom from analysts. Just another day at the office for the Macalope in this week’s Macworld column.

Beleaguered Microsoft

This week’s Macworld column is all Microsoft, baby. Is it fair to call them beleaguered? Who cares?!

Are you crazy?

The Macalope asks this of an analyst who downgrades Apple, an InfoWorld columnist who wants people to stop being so mean to Microsoft and (yes, she’s back!) Katherine Noyes in this week’s Macworld column.

Four and a half years on

Stephen Fry provides a brief history of mobile computing that ends in a candid review of the Samsung Galaxy Note and includes a favorable mention of the horny one himself.

Day, week, month, year and possibly lifetime = made.

Living in denial

This week’s Macworld column features a chat with the Winotaur, Google’s Project Glass and what some people seem to think we say about Mac security.

Fools of the Year, Junior Varsity Squad

If you’ve not seen the Varsity Squad, you can find them over at Macworld. These are the Fools who will fill in should any Varsity Fools be unable to fulfill their foolish duties.

11. Joe Wilcox

Joe didn’t make the top 10 this year because the Macalope threw out commentary on Steve Jobs’ death. But his jerktastic essay on why he wasn’t leaving Apple, Apple left him, made it a close call.

If this means you’ll stop talking about Apple, Joe, you can go away as angrily as you like. We’ll even help you pack!

12. Google’s Eric Schmidt and David Drummond

Schmidt said too many crazy things this year to keep track of. Both he and Google Chief Counsel David Drummond played the “Our competitors can’t innovate so they litigate” card as they were madly spending too much to get their own patents and filing lawsuits through their proxies.

Don’t be evil? How about trying to just not be a bunch of hypocrites?

13. Ed Bott


14. Demetrius Mandzych

In Byte’s return to the virtual airwaves, Mandzych wrote one of the worst pieces about Apple the Macalope’s ever read. And that’s saying something. Byte retracted the piece. Too bad they can’t retract it from our brains.

15. Consumer Reports

Ugh, these guys.

So, after Apple fixes the antenna problem in the iPhone 4S, it still doesn’t win their top spot because it doesn’t have 3D.

They also suddenly recognized that tablets might get hot when some people noticed the new iPad feels warm, although they never tested any other tablets for heat before that and many of “competing” tablets run hotter.

The idea that people might be noticing their iPads are warm because they’re actually using them does not occur to them.

16. Jolie O’Dell

O’Dell wrote an epically bad piece about how Apple’s brand is unravelling because Tim Cook’s shirt was untucked. You could not make up “analysis” this bad.

17. ZDNet

For so many reasons but mostly for publishing the Great Debate which the Macalope thinks started this year but is so horrible he can’t bring himself go back through them to look.

April Fools of the Year

It’s this year’s April Fools of the Year! The Macalope’s currently working on the Junior Varsity Fool Squad listing and will get it up here when he can.