Author: The Macalope

George Ou's Greatest Apple Hits!

The Macalope brings you George Ou’s inimitable stylings!

ZDNet and Macalope Records bring you this delightful collection of the stylings of unbiased blogger George Ou!

You’ll love such timeless hits as Microsoft’s Inability to Ship Vista is a Feature and Now That Apple’s Gone Intel, Software Companies Are Going To Tell Users To Boot Into Windows!

Order now and you’ll also get:

Yes, all these and so many more are available in this limited-time offer on LP, 8-track and cassette! Operators are standing by!

Who's the new guy?!

Apple adds a board member.

Remember back when Apple board members were guys you’d never heard of? Well, that was probably because you didn’t know as much about the tech industry back then and, these days, tech executives are practically like celebrities (Mel Gibson and Tom Cruise excluded).

But let’s meet the new guy!

(Cue The Dating Game music…)

The former chairman and CEO of Novell, he’s got 20 years of experience as an Internet strategist, entrepreneur and technologist. As Sun’s CTO, he led the development of a little thing called Java (not to be confused with the island of the same name). He’s got a Ph.D. in computer science and has probably ridden if not owned a Segway.

He’s an Aquarius who loves long walks in the rain, romatic dinners, snuggling and online porn…

He’s Google CEO Dr. Eric Schmidt! Let’s give him a big hand!

Margot, what’s your first question for Eric?

Errrrric, if I were a hard drive, how would you mount me?

Whoooooooo!!!

You can tell a man by the spin he spins

George Ou – illogician.

The Macalope hates to harp on George Ou…

(Well, not really, but play along.)

…but while he was perusing Ou’s site for that SecureWorks bombshell he promised over a week ago, he came across a rather… telling… bit of Ou “logic.”

Discussing the cracking of Microsoft’s Plays4SureDudeLikeTotally DRM, Ou writes:

While the music companies will cringe at this technology, this might ironically have an upside for Microsoft’s soon to be released Zune player since many consumers view a weaker DRM as a better DRM.

Uh, right.

George, what you call “weaker DRM” most people think of as “DRM that gives the customer more rights to play the music they purchased anywhere and any way they want.” As opposed to restrictive DRM that’s implemented poorly.

Do you see the difference?

The Macalope has seen this kind of spin before. No matter what happens, events must always favor Microsoft. The iPod has claimed 75 percent marketshare? Surely it just means people will be burned out on it and it’ll soon no longer be “cool.” Zune 4 evah!

At the end of the day, what kind of DRM do people really like?

Well, the kind that plays on an iPod, of course.

Now if they could just come up with some headphones that don’t get all tangled in your antlers.

"Each of us is carrying an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back…"

What’s on your PowerBook? An intense red glow.

The Macalope is now reminded of that line from “Ghostbusters” as he slings the pack containing his PowerBook mit explosive battery on his back every morning on his way to the office.

The thing is, the Horny One has become too accustomed to the “laptop lifestyle” to simply use his PowerBook tethered to the desk. And heaven forfend he should have to shut it down. That’s a once-a-month affair and only then to install an OS update.

So, for the next 4-6 weeks, the Macalope is living dangerously. He’ll take the battery out at night to keep his woodland home from burning to the ground, but the rest of the time it’s FLAME ON!

The Macalope was doing a little math in his antlered head and realized that 1.8 million 300 gram batteries is 1,188,000 lbs worth of landfill. Yikes. The Macalope would hate to live in the third world country that’s going to have to handle that. Although, with the state of consumer protection there, they might just resell them.

Apple Releases New "I'm A Mac/I'm A PC" Ads.

The Macalope caught one of Apple’s new ads while watching “Pirates of the Caribbean” last night, which happened to be the “Trust a Mac” spot.

This is the kind of spot that will have “certain people” all worked up over the smug self-confidence of Mac users who supposedly believe their systems are completely invulnerable.

The Macalope would like to state for the record that he doesn’t believe his system is completely invulnerable. It’s just that it’s invulnerable enough he doesn’t currently have to worry about it.