Threat level reduced to "Aluminum"

The Macalope receives his replacement battery.

The Macalope’s new non-explosive battery arrived yesterday, causing a great sigh of relief from Mrs. Macalope who had been giving the old one a wide berth ever since the announcement of its potential to be the family Yule Log this holiday season.

Apple’s instructions ask that you drain the battery before sending it back, leaving the Macalope to wonder why the company left out that little safety tip in the emailed instructions for the exchange program.

Oh, sure, it’s OK for the Macalope to sit around with a fully charged incendiary device on his lap, but god forbid it get within Steve Jobs’ zip code.

Now the Macalope’s trying to remember the shamanistic ritual of initiation you’re supposed to go through with a new battery to make sure it’ll last 4-evah.  He thinks it’s charge, drain, charge, drain.

Or is it drain, charge, drain, charge?

Or maybe it’s drain, drain, charge, charge, charge, drain, charge.

[Edited for spelling.  It’s just not the Macalope’s day…]

7 thoughts on “Threat level reduced to "Aluminum"”

  1. I’m assuming Mrs. Macalope was giving the battery a wide “berth” – unless she’s got more skills than you’re letting on?

  2. Having a brief stint at the Genius Bar, I seem to recall it was fully charge, fully discharge, then fully charge again – all while standing on one foot, patting your head and rubbing your stomach.

    …but I might be wrong about that last part.

  3. “Nice! But, um, it’s Up-Up-Down-Down-Left-Right-Left-Right-B-A-Select-Start.”

    My Nintendo was from Canada, eh.

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