Run for you lives!

News.com brings us a report that after years of toiling, researchers have finally created The Lamest Virus Evah™!

Kapersky Lab reports first iPod virus, sort of (tip o’ the antlers to Paolo and Matt Huber).

It only runs if you have Linux installed on your iPod.

And you have to execute it manually.

And it doesn’t really do anything.

RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

The Macalope particularly liked Kapersky’s comment that

“Such viruses are created to demonstrate that it is possible to infect a specific platform…”

You know. The Linux on iPod platform. The LiPod.

Just like it sounds.

Comments
  • iheartbeer:

    I just crapped my iPants… nay LiPants.

  • Would somebody PLEASE think of the CHILDREN! The LiChild….ah forget it.

  • Jack:

    Maybe it’s time to abandon the iPhone before someone wipes it, installs Linux on it and then manually starts a virus on it. I knew this phone idea was doomed from the start :(

  • While I have long been a friend of The Macalope, I have to say this is simply irresponsible journalism.

    To such an esteemed (and antlered, I might add) being to make light, almost joke, about what could well be a very very serious “I’ve installed Linux on my iPod and some equally as lame, retarded f*ckwit* went and developed a virus that affects me and the other three guys” issue.

    Having said that, i guess this means the Window fanboys need to shut the f*ck up with their “no viruses cos no one has one” argument against the Mac…. after all, how many of the 4 “LiPod” users actually got hit badly by this incredibly serious security issue?

    Regardless, I feel the honourable Macalope should be a little more giving in situations like this. After all… it *could* be, in the words of Ming Ming from the Wonderpets*…. “serwee-us”

    I shall continue reading your commentary, but you *have* been put on notice!

    Kindest regards, and a scratch behind the ears,

    Mr Jamieson

    * Yes, I do happen to have a 2 year old child. How did you guess?

  • WH:

    We’re doomed!

  • John Muir:

    In related news: much more serious viruses have been developed FOR THE MAC* and exist in the wild in vast numbers. Bill Gates himself had to comment on this shocking reality when questioned by a journalist who was obviously biased, by pointing out that these exploits are being made “every day”.

    * Macs running Microsoft Windows XP / Vista in Boot Camp. Windows is a known point of entry for many virus developers and Microsoft are aware of the issue and advice FUD for all users.

    Seriously, next up they’re going to hawk to the media the idea that Macs and / or iPods can EXPLODE so long as you, well, strap a stick of dynamite to them and light a match. Wonder if they’d even bother with similar antics on any non-Apple branded goods?

  • John Muir:

    Oh and I mean real “FIRE IN THE FREAKING HOLE!” explode, not fizzle courtesy of a dodgy Sony battery. Ugh, the trouble 3rd party shortcuts can get you. Thanks a lot Sony et al for equating laptops with “ruh roh Shaggy!” among certain airlines…

  • John Kirk:

    It only runs if you have Linux installed on your iPod (which nobody does)…

    And you have to execute it manually (which nobody would)…

    And it doesn’t really do anything (so nobody cares).

  • Don:

    Let’s see…

    It requires manual installation and execution. It doesn’t spread unless you actually give a copy of the file to someone else.

    So how the heck did Kaspersky Labs decide this was a proof of any concept at all?

    Or does manually installing and executing an app now count as “infecting the platform”?

    If that’s the new “IT’S A VIRUS” criterion, then wouldn’t the ‘ls’ command count as a virus?

    Or maybe this killer dangerous shell script:
    #!/bin/bash
    echo “DANGEROUS VIRUS ALERT”; ls -laR

    I think I want some of what Kaspersky’s been smokin’.

  • Dai Jones:

    Dammit, I rushed here to leave a comment as soon as I saw the piece, but the antlered one was well before me. One question though: why do these piece of shit sites that publish meaningless arse not allow comments? Are they scared of something?

    Forgive me, I’m still bitter that the BBC wouldn’t allow me to comment in response to this trivial shit…
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/6531049.stm
    I mean, surely we don’t need telling that large dog breeds and small dog breeds differ genetically? How else, fairy dust?

    D

  • I feel compelled to point out that while the virus requires you to install iPodLinux on your iPod, and in doing so negates the threat for 99.99% of iPod owners, it gets even better.

    iPodLinux only runs on 1G, 2G, and 3G full-size iPods. Not 4G click-wheel iPods or 5G iPod videos. Not 1G or 2G iPod nanos. Not 1G or 2G iPod shuffles. Not even the iPod mini, which was born, went through life, and was discontinued before iPodLinux could get a chance to work on it.

    So if you’ve bought your iPod in the past 2.5 years, you’re automatically exempt from this threat.

  • Err.. well.. I mean.. it looks like there’s partial support on all iPods except 2G iPod nanos and any iPod shuffle. But still, that narrows down the field even more.

  • John Muir:

    Dai Jones:

    My loathing for the BBC’s dumbing down in all fields except for politics (yay) over the last 10 years knows no humble or even particularly sane bounds. 😛

  • Bad Jokes Dept:

    Dr. Evil voice:

    “I suppose the infected device requires a… lipodsuction…perhaps?”

  • Cam:

    I wonder how long it will take for George Ou to pick this up?

  • Don:

    If this stupid program is a virus at all, it’s a Linux virus.

    So now that Linux is being ported to AppleTV, maybe Kaspersky can port his “virus” code and create the first AppleTV virus. Stop the presses, the sky is falling.

    http://www.mactel-linux.org/wiki/AppleTV

  • A little help please?

    I’ve download and installed the virus, but I can’t get it to run.

    Has anyone managed to make it work?

    Thanks :)

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